Truth be told

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I tried to start this darn thing last year but then I curled back into my shell and forgot about this attempt to open myself up to the wide world.  Blogging is absolutely terrifying but equally cathartic.  It provides my imagination with enough space to romp and frolic within relatively safe confines.

But then, there is the inevitable sharing of secrets.  You get what you give, relationship wise, and when it comes to acquaintances/casual friendships (which make up 99.9% of my relationships), I just keep my mouth shut and listen politely

So what kind of vulnerabilities do I expose in a blog?  Too many, I figured.  I'd never be able to write anything truly interesting or insightful without recalling personal anecdotes, both painful and pleasurable.  I've told myself this so often in the past that it has kept me from any kind of public face.  That and the fact that I am quite lazy and a chicken, kind of a folie à deux of traits.

But it's a new year!  2012, which is not just the year of Armageddon, but also a year of hope.   It is the year of returning to the time in my life when I could wish for something and believe in pure blessings, not just prizes that come with hefty taxes attached.  I want to remember life before that first betrayal.  I am a strong believer in secrets and talking about my personal life seems to go against all of my most protective instincts.

New Year!  Renewed Hope, which includes that in people.  This is a very belated happy new year, folks, but I have never been known to arrive on time for a party.  I usually come after spending an hour trying to figure out a believable excuse for skipping, convincing myself to go and fretting over my appearance and wishing I had used the previous hour to primp, then scolding myself in the car for arriving so late, and being stricken with anxiety at the door, realizing I will have to engage in small talk with strangers.

I hope you fare better than I do at parties.


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