Waiting for Baby: 5 Sources of Parental Inspiration
/
0 Comments
The worst part of waiting for Baby is the mental battle. With absolutely nothing in my control these days (finances, timing, bladder issues), I've mostly tried to distract myself from the absolutely earth shattering change that is quickly approaching. Sometimes it feels like I'm trying to prepare for a surprise marathon and I need to be ready when that starter's pistol fires for any terrain, any weather, any condition. Oh, and at the end of it, after the joy and euphoria and feeling of accomplishment has come and gone and all I want to do is sleep forever, I'll have to get up and run again. And keep running. While fending off angry monkeys. And pulling sled full of watermelons. Forever. Welcome to Parenthood!
Most of my professional life has been spent in the circus ring with babies and young children and parents. I regularly follow a dozen or so (crafty and creative) mommy bloggers. My Facebook feed has become one big baby slideshow (to which I will probably contribute once I meet my own bundle of cuteness). It's easy to get inundated by the idea of parenthood, by a magazine version of the total experience, but as I've imagined my own path as a mother, I've craved an understanding for the intimacy of parenthood: the stuff we don't post about on Facebook, the tidbits my mother hid under a facade of control, the reality beyond sleepless nights and potty training.
So, of course, much of my inspiration and comfort has come from fictitious characters (all of course, drawn from very real experiences and then distilled and reflected by wiser artists) or writers simply examining their own lives. I identify strongly with realistic characters, people with a frank view of life but ultimately hope for romance so I've found great comfort in the "regular-ness" of these parents while also drawing from the heroism of my own.
1) Waitress:
Witty, charming, honest, it was the first time I've seen a woman speak so frankly about her fears and despair about being pregnant, about feeling so utterly trapped. I think the story has a unique twist on the generic "trying to find happiness" tale and genuinely pulls it off. This is Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion at their cutest. And the true story of the writer/director (and new mom) Adrienne Shelly's tragic murder just before the movie's release makes it all the more poignant.
2) Crawling: A Father's First Year.
Honestly, I read this like five years ago so I don't totally remember it word for word. I really love stories written by fathers, just normal dads. The TV trope of the flawed father (alcoholic maybe, war vet possibly, absent mostly) trying to make amends or having that cinematic moments with his son is, while realistic, overdone. Aside from this father's somewhat glamorous lifestyle (a nice Berkeley studio, going to a posh bakery, putting his wife through grad school? How is that logical in the Bay Area without a trust fund somewhere??), it's a great read.
3) Parenthood:
I could do a whole post on Parenthood. My husband and I started watching in 2010, when we had no immediate plans for having children but we fell in love with the show and it's uniquely intimate portrayal of the Braverman clan. It hits the trifecta of TV: solid cast, solid scripts, solid production quality, and somehow addresses so many tough issues (autism, adoption, abortion to name a few) without feeling melodramatic. I cannot say enough good things about this show. It's honest, heartbreaking, heartwarming, and did I mention honest? Just watch the show. And keep a box of tissues near.
4) Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year.
Surprise, surprise that Anne Lamott made it onto my list. Her writing has been a tonic for my writing, for my faith, my life! Even her Twitter account is a source of great comfort for me, but this book is just lovely. She was given the advice to try to write something every day in her first year of motherhood (advice I will desperately try to follow) and this was the result. I read it when I got pregnant, when I was jobless and scared and alone in a new city, and I started breathing again.
5) Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son:
I love The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay but this book may be my favorite of Chabon's. The opening chapter had me hooked. It's yet another memoir about a being "modern dad" but with the expected wit and candor of such an accomplished writer.
So none of these are really instructional, they're merely comforting to me. I think parenting really is a million platitudes manifested and finding open arms in utter darkness. I think my inspiration comes from my own mother, my own experiences, my complete faith in God, but sometimes when the road gets bumpy we just need a heavy dose of normal folk to keep us laughing as we trudge onward.
Also, I realize now that 4 of the 5 of those take place or are written in the Bay Area which is a little spooky now considering our situation with this baby and Northern California, but pure coincidence I'm sure.
Still waiting...
Most of my professional life has been spent in the circus ring with babies and young children and parents. I regularly follow a dozen or so (crafty and creative) mommy bloggers. My Facebook feed has become one big baby slideshow (to which I will probably contribute once I meet my own bundle of cuteness). It's easy to get inundated by the idea of parenthood, by a magazine version of the total experience, but as I've imagined my own path as a mother, I've craved an understanding for the intimacy of parenthood: the stuff we don't post about on Facebook, the tidbits my mother hid under a facade of control, the reality beyond sleepless nights and potty training.
So, of course, much of my inspiration and comfort has come from fictitious characters (all of course, drawn from very real experiences and then distilled and reflected by wiser artists) or writers simply examining their own lives. I identify strongly with realistic characters, people with a frank view of life but ultimately hope for romance so I've found great comfort in the "regular-ness" of these parents while also drawing from the heroism of my own.
1) Waitress:
 |
| via collider.com |
Witty, charming, honest, it was the first time I've seen a woman speak so frankly about her fears and despair about being pregnant, about feeling so utterly trapped. I think the story has a unique twist on the generic "trying to find happiness" tale and genuinely pulls it off. This is Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion at their cutest. And the true story of the writer/director (and new mom) Adrienne Shelly's tragic murder just before the movie's release makes it all the more poignant.
2) Crawling: A Father's First Year.
 |
| via author's site |
Honestly, I read this like five years ago so I don't totally remember it word for word. I really love stories written by fathers, just normal dads. The TV trope of the flawed father (alcoholic maybe, war vet possibly, absent mostly) trying to make amends or having that cinematic moments with his son is, while realistic, overdone. Aside from this father's somewhat glamorous lifestyle (a nice Berkeley studio, going to a posh bakery, putting his wife through grad school? How is that logical in the Bay Area without a trust fund somewhere??), it's a great read.
3) Parenthood:
 |
| via HuffPost |
4) Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year.
 |
| via BandN |
Surprise, surprise that Anne Lamott made it onto my list. Her writing has been a tonic for my writing, for my faith, my life! Even her Twitter account is a source of great comfort for me, but this book is just lovely. She was given the advice to try to write something every day in her first year of motherhood (advice I will desperately try to follow) and this was the result. I read it when I got pregnant, when I was jobless and scared and alone in a new city, and I started breathing again.
5) Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son:
 |
| via BandN |
I love The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay but this book may be my favorite of Chabon's. The opening chapter had me hooked. It's yet another memoir about a being "modern dad" but with the expected wit and candor of such an accomplished writer.
So none of these are really instructional, they're merely comforting to me. I think parenting really is a million platitudes manifested and finding open arms in utter darkness. I think my inspiration comes from my own mother, my own experiences, my complete faith in God, but sometimes when the road gets bumpy we just need a heavy dose of normal folk to keep us laughing as we trudge onward.
Also, I realize now that 4 of the 5 of those take place or are written in the Bay Area which is a little spooky now considering our situation with this baby and Northern California, but pure coincidence I'm sure.
Still waiting...
Posts
